TOADtalk: Happiness
Ms. Perry fills us in on what makes her happy.
As the months go by in a Thacher school year, students and faculty members learn about each other in a thousand different ways, times, and contexts: around the breakfast or formal dinner table, in a sunshiny moment on the Pergola or a sunset shared on a trail, at the whiteboard in a classroom, lab, studio or seminar circle, at practices and games and rehearsals, at coffeehouses and Open Houses, in dorm common rooms, and in Suburbans on highways or back roads on the way to community service projects, field trips, cultural excursions, or athletic events. Then there’s each faculty member’s TOADTalk. Monday morning’s all-School Assembly launches with whatever the Teacher On Active Duty wishes to share—a reflection, a story or song, a demonstration of some sort, or a simple poem. In this way, every week of the school year, the community gains a new window into the mind or heart or spirit of one of our own.
Molly Perry, whose TOADTalk is featured below, graduated from Thacher in 1985 and has worked at the School since 1997. Ms. Perry is the chair of the language department and is the faculty advisor for the community service program. She lives on campus with her husband and two daughters, a freshman and junior at Thacher.
Molly Perry, whose TOADTalk is featured below, graduated from Thacher in 1985 and has worked at the School since 1997. Ms. Perry is the chair of the language department and is the faculty advisor for the community service program. She lives on campus with her husband and two daughters, a freshman and junior at Thacher.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you find yourself doing the right thing in the right place at the right time with the right people and somehow, sort of out of nowhere, the realization of your overwhelming sense of contentment hits you like a ton of bricks?
I had such a moment just a few weeks back. I was with a group of friends (the right people) at the Santa Barbara Bowl (seated under the stars—most certainly a right place) listening to a performance by a member of one of my all time favorite bands (clearly a right thing—who doesn’t love seeing a favorite perform live?) when all of a sudden, this song came on …. (Romeo and Juliet). I took a deep breath, looked around me (at the smiling faces of my friends), looked above me at the star-studded sky, and listened closely to the song that I truly felt that Mark Knopfler was singing just for me (well, for me and my 2,000 new friends). No doubt about it. I was happy—and I made it a point to acknowledge it.
You see, a few years back, someone near and dear to me mentioned that he thought I was a pessimist. I didn’t agree, but it made me think. Now, I have no aspirations to be a Pollyanna brand of optimist—one that sees only the bright side of everything and turns a blind eye to the bad or the kind that constantly hopes for something better to come along around the next corner. My goal, instead, was to make a point of being conscious of the good moments in my life, the times when I feel completely happy, and appreciate them, for however long they last.
So, this may sound kind of cheesy, but right around the time I made this resolution, I started noticing a number of bluebirds crossing my path. Ever since I saw the Shirley Temple movie The Blue Bird (it came out in 1940, but I probably saw it sometime in the 1970s) bluebirds for me have symbolized happiness. I did some research preparing for this talk, and it appears that I am not alone in my associations with and appreciation for the common bluebird. In China during the Tang Dynasty (618-906 AD), they were thought to be “Taoist fairy queens and the protectors/patrons of ‘singing girls, dead women, novices, nuns, adepts and priestesses...women [who] stood outside the roles prescribed for women in the traditional Chinese family.’“[1] And, in Navajo folklore, the bluebird is thought to be a spirit in animal form, and it is associated with the rising sun. Both harbingers of good, I believe.
But, what do bluebirds have to do with my happiness? Well, I feel like they serve as a reminder to me to stop and to reflect on the positive things in my life. So, I do. When I see one, I take a second or two to think about how I’m feeling, and, oddly, every time I am able to recognize my own happiness. For, truth be told, there are a number of things that make me happy. A few off the top of my list:
Swimming at 6:00am in an outdoor pool makes me happy—even though I’m really not a morning person—because I get to see the sunrise 3 days a week, a magical moment that rivals Ojai’s legendary sunsets in terms of majesty and color.
Seeing Mr. Hooper’s pocket-protector full of a rainbow assortment of pens makes me happy, for it reminds me that I fully appreciate working at a school where the football coach doesn’t scream obscenities nor engage in other stereotypically hypermasculine behaviors. He embraces his inner-nerd and inspires his players with words that uplift rather than denigrate.
Watching Faith wind-up and drive a spike over the volleyball net and seeing the crowd rise to their feet in delight makes me happy. I enjoy watching female athletes excel and her joy in the sheer physicality of the moment causes me awe.
Sitting on the sidelines as Sarah VanSon, cool and collected, drilled a game winning penalty shot into the goal made me happy. It made me recognize we successfully instilled a level of confidence and supported expertise that allowed Sarah to step up to that ball knowing she would do her best to put it in.
Listening to SPECTRUM announcements at assembly makes me happy because even as recently as 10 years ago we were a school where open expression of sexual orientation wasn’t really possible.
And, finally, hearing my students thank me every day as they walk out of class—yes, even on those days when all I have done is hand them a test—makes me happy because I appreciate living and working in a community that values kindness and practices expressing gratitude.
So, my challenge to you is to try to identify and to appreciate those things in your lives that make you happy. You see, no matter where it is that we call home, here at Thacher, we all are privileged: we have roofs over our heads, we are safe, we are fed, and we have all had access to education. This, and daily access to soft-serve ice cream, should make us all very happy.
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