BGFW Chapel Talk: "From Ground to Sky"
For the centerpiece of the Big Gymkhana Family Weekend chapel service, Debbie Eastburn, mother of current senior Ben, alum Jack CdeP 2008, and 7th grader Caroline (and, with her husband John, parent representative to the Board this year), offered her perspective on the saiutary web among students, parents, teachers, staff, and the natural world here at Thacher.
Debbie Eastburn, mother of current senior Ben, alum Jack CdeP 2008, and 7th grader Caroline (and, with her husband John, parent representative to the Board this year), offered her perspective on the saiutary web among students, parents, teachers, staff, and the natural world here at Thacher.
Sometimes people say that life at Thacher is like living in a bubble. A beautiful, safe, and serene protection from the “real world.” And sometimes parents are grateful to think that their children are so insulated from danger, fear, and ugliness. Yet students and families worry that when they leave Thacher they will not be ready for “real life.”Have you thought about that sometimes?
Well, I have too. And after 7 years of viewing Thacher from the perspective of a parent I have to say that I have no more worries. Because I have watched and listened to Thacher kids. I have laughed with them and learned from them. They are as different from each other as siblings in a family and as united in their values as family members can be. And they are strong. So strong that they welcome new challenges and seek to make their mark wherever they find themselves.
How is this possible?
First of all, they arrive as freshmen already accomplished and ready to learn more. They have been raised by their parents to love learning and life. But many high school freshmen start off like that only to lose their way later.
What makes Thacher special?
I think one significant factor is the role of the natural world in the Thacher experience. Our kids are out in nature every day. They live in a beautiful, yet rugged environment. They get a noseful of orange blossom fragrance one moment and horse manure the next. They see “Pink Moment” sunsets in the evening and are up in the gray drizzle the next morning to muck a stall. They learn to watch the trails for hazards, and when they fall (and they do) they pick themselves back up and carry on. Ultimately they learn that their place in the natural world has impact yet they are quite insignificant in comparison. They are grounded, in more ways than one!
I think one significant factor is the role of the natural world in the Thacher experience. Our kids are out in nature every day. They live in a beautiful, yet rugged environment. They get a noseful of orange blossom fragrance one moment and horse manure the next. They see “Pink Moment” sunsets in the evening and are up in the gray drizzle the next morning to muck a stall. They learn to watch the trails for hazards, and when they fall (and they do) they pick themselves back up and carry on. Ultimately they learn that their place in the natural world has impact yet they are quite insignificant in comparison. They are grounded, in more ways than one!
But that’s not all that makes Thacher special. Here’s one story. Our oldest son, Jack, graduated 3 years ago. He wanted to show some friends the place that he loved so much so he brought them during the summer when he was home from college. He took them to see his favorite spots around the campus, but was disappointed when they weren’t as enthusiastic about it as he was. They just couldn’t see what the big deal was.
Well the “big deal” was on summer vacation too. That “big deal” is of course all of you in the faculty, staff and administration. You make this house a home. In the fall I welcomed the freshmen families to the Parents Association at a meeting in the Milligan Center. I told them that Thacher is their child’s now bigger family. They live with their classmates as new siblings. The faculty are their new aunts and uncles, fully invested in their growth and learning. And these relatives are with them for 4 years and beyond. They have a powerful influence on their ideas, choices and maturation. They embody the school’s values of honor, fairness, kindness and truth. You are that family for our children.
Your groundedness gives these students the base from which to reach out into the real world. Here is a reading from the Tao Te Ching--Verse 54--that expresses this:
Whatever is well-grounded
Cannot be uprooted;
Whatever is firmly embedded,
Cannot be taken away.
So be a good example
To the next generation.
Practicing this in our own lives
Develops true integrity;
Extending it to the family
Develops family virtues;
Extending it to the community
Develops community values;
Extend it to the nation,
And the nation’s virtues abound;
Extend it to all things.
And integrity becomes universal.
View a person from that person’s
Point of view;
View a family from that family’s
Point of view;
The community as a community;
The nation as a nation;
And to understand the universe,
Align with the pulse of the Tao.
I recently listened to an interview of David Brooks, a New York Times political and cultural columnist. He said “People learn from people they love.” Thacher students love their teachers. And everyone at Thacher is a teacher. There is learning going on all day in the classroom, on the fields and trails, at the dining table, and in the dorms. So it is no wonder that kids and adults thrive here. There exists a respect for each voice, an openness to differing viewpoints, and a spirit of mutual support.
Children thrive when have love and respect and good work to do. Don’t we all? They are adults when they are ready to care for themselves and others. They are truly mature when they have work for the greatest good of their world. Then they soar.
I will close with an African tale. As it is Mothers Day you may think of the bird in this story as a metaphor for your life if you are a mother, your own mother’s life, or even Thacher as the parent to the students here.
An African tale
A long time ago there was a single, powerful bird living on a vast, grassy plain, and no one knew her name. Over the years the bird gave birth to lots of children – so many that the day came when there wasn’t enough food for them all. So the mother bird called her children around and told them they would have to leave their home to find a better place, a more abundant place. They took hold of her feathers, and with great sweeps of her wings the mother bird rose into the air.
In time the children grew tired of holding on. The hummingbird looked down and saw gardens of beautiful flowers. “That will be the home for me,” she said, and she let go of her mother’s breast and flew down to settle in this new place. Likewise the kokodyo spotted clusters of fruit trees below, and she too let loose her mother’s feathers and dropped down to make a new home on her own. And so it went: the pepper bird coming to rest in a beautiful forest; the desert pelican in patches of wild olives; the secretary bird settling among the termite hills. Until all the young birds had found homes where they could prosper and bear children of their own. The great mother bird climbed very high then, soaring for hours in that blue African sky.
For my senior son, Ben, and for all of the seniors we are so thankful for your presence in our lives. We are inspired by your spirits. We are ready to share you with the world. May you join us as we soar together in the sky.
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