TOADTalk: Carneys Get Skunked
Over the course of a year at Thacher, students and faculty members learn about each other in a thousand different ways, times, and contexts: around the breakfast or formal dinner table, in a sunshiny moment on the Pergola or a sunset shared on a trail, at the whiteboard in a classroom, lab, studio or seminar circle, at practices and games and rehearsals, at coffeehouses and Open Houses, in dorm common rooms, and in Suburbans on highways or back roads on the way to community service projects, field trips, cultural excursions, or athletic events. Then there’s each faculty member’s TOADTalk. Monday morning’s all-School Assembly launches with whatever the Teacher On Active Duty wishes to share—a reflection, a story or song, a demonstration of some sort, or a simple poem. In this way, every week of the school year, the community gains a new window into the mind or heart or spirit of one of our own.
Jason Carney, whose TOADTalk is featured below, has lived at Thacher with his family since 2001. Jason has served many roles on campus and is currently Chair of the History Department, coach for Varsity Boys’ Basketball and JV Girls’ Tennis.
Monday, July 30, 2012, is a day that will live in infamy for the Carney family. It’s a picturesque setting on Scout Mountain in Pocatello, Idaho where we’re car camping. Riley, T, and Mrs. Carney in the “girls’ tent.” Rob and I occupy the “boys’.” The dog, Manny Ramirez Carney, sleeping comfortably on his bed in between the two tents. Tranquil. Peaceful. The way camping should be.
At 4:03am, I shoot straight up in my sleeping bag awakened by a low purring noise from roughly 20 feet away. What is disconcerting is that the noise didn’t come from Manny, who is now staggering back to the tent, eyes watering, drooling uncontrollably. One of my senses kicks in big time and my nostrils feel like they are on fire. We’d been skunked.
Now there we are, 30 minutes from civilization. It’s 4:00 A.M.! We still have a nine hour-drive to get to our destination. There’s no juice left in the cell phone and only 5% on the IPad, and we’d been enveloped by one of the nastiest smells ever. The dog, the tents, the sleeping bags. All of us. We were screwed.
How do you react when things go wrong? What happens to you when things are seemingly at their bleakest? Do you “crack under pressure”? Do you “let the stress get to you”? Experts note that when people come unglued, it is more because of their inability to cope than anything else. Yet they also say that with a little bit of effort, most people can determine their weak spots and know how to compensate for them should the worst happen. Easier said than done.
Child psychologists and researchers, and now schools like Thacher, are focusing on developing traits in students like “hardiness,” “resiliency” and a popular buzz word known as “grit” -- important leadership skills that can be learned by all, no matter ones background or upbringing. In fact, those who have “grit” or are “hardy” actually learn to thrive under enormous pressure.
Dr. Salvatore R. Maddi, a professor of psychology at UC Irvine says, "People who are high in hardiness enjoy ongoing changes and difficulties. They find themselves more involved in their work when it gets tougher and more complicated. They tend to think of stress as a normal part of life, rather than as something that's unfair.''
So while you most likely won’t have to deal with getting sprayed by a skunk this year, there will be times when your anxiety levels will climb. And, of course, you’ve already dealt with some of this earlier this month, right? Camping at over 10,000 feet for four or five nights is not easy. Neither is the first day of school in a new setting or thinking about college applications. Stressful stuff. And there are going to be more instances when the situation looks grim. It’s nearing “lights out” and you haven’t adequately prepared for a test the next morning. You’re put in the middle of a difficult situation between good friends and they both want you to resolve it...maybe something else?
When confronted with challenging situations, here are three keys for you to remember:
1. Be confident.-- You’re smart, talented and have probably been in this situation or something similar before.... things will work out. As the experts say, do the best you can to embrace the challenge.
2. Keep your emotions under control. Screaming and panicking generally will not help you fix things. As Thacher’s own wilderness experts Derf and Mr. Pidduck like to say, “Have a snickers moment.” Take the time to figuratively (or literally!) eat a snickers bar and sort out your options. Remember our camping speaker, Mr. Beamish, and his tale of going to Santa Cruz island and being miles offshore with no breeze and no particular place to go? He made the best of a bad situation that evening, thought through his options, and moved forward.
3. Use your resources around you. Who do you know that can help? A friend, prefect, parent, advisor? You’ve got plenty of resources. Talking with a close confident will put you in a better place.
You are hardy. You have grit. You’ve dealt with the horse. You’ve done hard-core EDTs. You’ve succeeded many times. It’s what Thacher’s all about. Remember to embrace the challenge. You’ll be fine.
Now back to Scout Mountain.
One thing about Big T Carney is that she has an acute sense of smell. Earlier this summer she was at the Santa Barbara Zoo eating a granola bar and checking out the giraffes when the wind picked up and blew a foul smell in her direction. She vomited on the spot.
So Ms. Carney and I awoke the kids with great trepidation because we were waking them from sound slumber and were fearful of what might happen with Taylor. Predictably, T began wailing and screaming about the disgusting smell in the air. (Think about those lucky campers who got the sites on either side of us that night!); however, Riley and Rob helped calm her down and get settled in our minivan.
At this point, it was all about prioritizing, and the most important thing to do was to get as much of the smell off of us as possible. We made it into Pocatello and, among other things, used a Motel 6 room for two hours to shower off Manny and ourselves using a combination of hydrogen peroxide, listerine,baking soda and dish soap. Good parenting got pushed aside and we bought the kids a dozen, glazed doughnuts to keep them occupied while, by the grace of God, a Scooby Doo marathon filled the air waves. And, get this, while we were washing our clothes and taking showers, someone at Motel 6 stole the dogbed that Manny had been sleeping on when he got sprayed that I had put outside our mini-van. They jacked the skunk-smelling dog bed! And in that act of thievery, the person actually did us a favor while bringing a whole world of hurt on himself.
So that kept us laughing as we pulled out of Motel 6 at 8:18 Monday morning ready to drive 9 hours to northwest MT. We were bruised; we were battered; and we smelled, as a dude at Walmart told me, “kind of funky” but we had a story for the ages -- and, in our own way, had shown a little grit.
Monday, July 30, 2012, is a day that will live in infamy for the Carney family. It’s a picturesque setting on Scout Mountain in Pocatello, Idaho where we’re car camping. Riley, T, and Mrs. Carney in the “girls’ tent.” Rob and I occupy the “boys’.” The dog, Manny Ramirez Carney, sleeping comfortably on his bed in between the two tents. Tranquil. Peaceful. The way camping should be.
At 4:03am, I shoot straight up in my sleeping bag awakened by a low purring noise from roughly 20 feet away. What is disconcerting is that the noise didn’t come from Manny, who is now staggering back to the tent, eyes watering, drooling uncontrollably. One of my senses kicks in big time and my nostrils feel like they are on fire. We’d been skunked.
Now there we are, 30 minutes from civilization. It’s 4:00 A.M.! We still have a nine hour-drive to get to our destination. There’s no juice left in the cell phone and only 5% on the IPad, and we’d been enveloped by one of the nastiest smells ever. The dog, the tents, the sleeping bags. All of us. We were screwed.
How do you react when things go wrong? What happens to you when things are seemingly at their bleakest? Do you “crack under pressure”? Do you “let the stress get to you”? Experts note that when people come unglued, it is more because of their inability to cope than anything else. Yet they also say that with a little bit of effort, most people can determine their weak spots and know how to compensate for them should the worst happen. Easier said than done.
Child psychologists and researchers, and now schools like Thacher, are focusing on developing traits in students like “hardiness,” “resiliency” and a popular buzz word known as “grit” -- important leadership skills that can be learned by all, no matter ones background or upbringing. In fact, those who have “grit” or are “hardy” actually learn to thrive under enormous pressure.
Dr. Salvatore R. Maddi, a professor of psychology at UC Irvine says, "People who are high in hardiness enjoy ongoing changes and difficulties. They find themselves more involved in their work when it gets tougher and more complicated. They tend to think of stress as a normal part of life, rather than as something that's unfair.''
So while you most likely won’t have to deal with getting sprayed by a skunk this year, there will be times when your anxiety levels will climb. And, of course, you’ve already dealt with some of this earlier this month, right? Camping at over 10,000 feet for four or five nights is not easy. Neither is the first day of school in a new setting or thinking about college applications. Stressful stuff. And there are going to be more instances when the situation looks grim. It’s nearing “lights out” and you haven’t adequately prepared for a test the next morning. You’re put in the middle of a difficult situation between good friends and they both want you to resolve it...maybe something else?
When confronted with challenging situations, here are three keys for you to remember:
1. Be confident.-- You’re smart, talented and have probably been in this situation or something similar before.... things will work out. As the experts say, do the best you can to embrace the challenge.
2. Keep your emotions under control. Screaming and panicking generally will not help you fix things. As Thacher’s own wilderness experts Derf and Mr. Pidduck like to say, “Have a snickers moment.” Take the time to figuratively (or literally!) eat a snickers bar and sort out your options. Remember our camping speaker, Mr. Beamish, and his tale of going to Santa Cruz island and being miles offshore with no breeze and no particular place to go? He made the best of a bad situation that evening, thought through his options, and moved forward.
3. Use your resources around you. Who do you know that can help? A friend, prefect, parent, advisor? You’ve got plenty of resources. Talking with a close confident will put you in a better place.
You are hardy. You have grit. You’ve dealt with the horse. You’ve done hard-core EDTs. You’ve succeeded many times. It’s what Thacher’s all about. Remember to embrace the challenge. You’ll be fine.
Now back to Scout Mountain.
One thing about Big T Carney is that she has an acute sense of smell. Earlier this summer she was at the Santa Barbara Zoo eating a granola bar and checking out the giraffes when the wind picked up and blew a foul smell in her direction. She vomited on the spot.
So Ms. Carney and I awoke the kids with great trepidation because we were waking them from sound slumber and were fearful of what might happen with Taylor. Predictably, T began wailing and screaming about the disgusting smell in the air. (Think about those lucky campers who got the sites on either side of us that night!); however, Riley and Rob helped calm her down and get settled in our minivan.
At this point, it was all about prioritizing, and the most important thing to do was to get as much of the smell off of us as possible. We made it into Pocatello and, among other things, used a Motel 6 room for two hours to shower off Manny and ourselves using a combination of hydrogen peroxide, listerine,baking soda and dish soap. Good parenting got pushed aside and we bought the kids a dozen, glazed doughnuts to keep them occupied while, by the grace of God, a Scooby Doo marathon filled the air waves. And, get this, while we were washing our clothes and taking showers, someone at Motel 6 stole the dogbed that Manny had been sleeping on when he got sprayed that I had put outside our mini-van. They jacked the skunk-smelling dog bed! And in that act of thievery, the person actually did us a favor while bringing a whole world of hurt on himself.
So that kept us laughing as we pulled out of Motel 6 at 8:18 Monday morning ready to drive 9 hours to northwest MT. We were bruised; we were battered; and we smelled, as a dude at Walmart told me, “kind of funky” but we had a story for the ages -- and, in our own way, had shown a little grit.
More About Thacher
Interested in learning more about Thacher? Sign up for a virtual visit here.
A college preparatory boarding school for grades 9-12
Notice of nondiscriminatory policy as to students: The Thacher School admits students of any race, color, national, and ethnic origin to all the rights, privileges, programs, and activities generally accorded or made available to students at the School. It does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, national, and ethnic origin in administration of its educational policies, admission policies, scholarship and loan programs, and athletic and other School-administered programs.